Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Breaking Winter's Heart


-We need to talk.

-I know, good things are never said after that, but hear me out.

-No, don't cry you're tears are icicles.

-What do you mean, I'm cold hearted? You're WINTER, you're always cold.

-Ugh! Just listen...

23 degrees is f*ckin freezing, well below freezing but it is COLD! This is Central Texas, what are you doing here Winter? I mean you’re cool –ahem, cold- and all and I like you but not in that way. We can hang out and be friends but you can’t stay with me? No no no, it’s not you, it’s me? It’s just that my physique isn’t created to appreciate you. Like I said, we can be friends, so if you want to send me a gift (snow) that would be pretty awesome. Please though, not too many gifts don’t suffocate me I’ll just push you away. If I wanted consistent fields of snow, I’d move so we could be together a lot more but I live down South not up North.

I prefer hot girls, you know Spring and Summer? They really know how to have fun. The sun is high the mercury is rising and they’ve got everyone undressing, reaching for cold beverages and splashing water all over each other. I’ll take a hot date with Spring or Summer lazily sitting on a tube enjoying the river over your bone rattling rendezvous any day.

-Please stop crying, you're killing my plants.

-Of course I like you, but not everyone does. I mean Electricity didn't even show up today cause of you.

So, while I’m glad you’re visiting Texas, like many other tourists that visit I can’t wait for you to leave. Enjoy your stay, don’t cause too many problems, don’t make me sick and our friendship will be alright. Can you do me a favor though, if you see Spring or Summer on your way out, tell them I miss them. Your rain-boots are cute but summer dresses are hot.

Your Friend,


Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! "I mean Electricity didn't even show up today cause of you"
Hilarious literary skills. -T.Cao

DY said...

Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I just had to talk it out with Winter.